Who is the father?
The slippery, slimming slope of DNA testing!
‘DNA tests should be done for all First Borns as a rule of thumb’, this was a recent tweet by the self-described award-winning medical doctor, Dr. Penking. According to him, in a lengthy thread on Twitter, DNA paternity tests should be done on children if the man identified as the father has been diagnosed with reproductive problems, is an offshore worker, has a long-distance relationship with his wife, if there is even a 1% doubt in the man’s mind and many more reasons.
The challenge here is that many forget that there is a child involved. The results of DNA paternity tests are shocking and tremendously life-changing for the child, the man identified as the father, the biological father, and in some cases the mother.
The maternity of children has always been obvious through childbirth, but the paternity of children has always been assumed. With the recent popularity of ancestry DNA testing, more and more people are realizing that their family tree is not what they think it should be and dormant secrets are being revealed.
In fact, it is estimated that about 5–20% of children have the wrong father falsely identified as their biological father. As more and more revelations of false paternity rise, more and more people (men) are planted with doubt and want to know who the true biological father of their child is.
Research has shown that for a child to develop a sense of identity, they need to establish their biological origin. However, breaking out of blissful ignorance can lead to an unexpected shock that has the potential to cause a major emotional breakdown.
The three biggest victims in a paternity DNA test are the child, the man falsely identified, and the biological father. They are faced with an existential crisis, changes to their family dynamic, family conflict, grief, and in some cases a legal battle. If you are one of these victims, here is what to do
- Understand you are not alone and you can reach out to support groups to help process and unpack your reality. There are many online support groups that are created for victims of paternity fraud
- Understand your legal options if you are the child, the man falsely identified, or the biological father and protect yourself legally
- Understand there is no right or wrong way of handling the situation. You might choose the man falsely identified because that is the only father you know. You might choose your biological father because it helps with your sense of identity. You might choose both fathers, that is absolutely ok.
As insensitive as this sounds, sometimes DNA just does not matter. All that matters is having a healthy relationship between father and child and reaping those life-long emotional benefits.
I am the director of research at Versa Research, a data, research & consulting company!
References
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/07/dna-test-misattributed-paternity/562928/
