I am the sh*t or am I?!

‘I have a sound mind, I have power. I am entitled to blessings, I shall not be shaken, I shall not be broken. I am strong, I am unstoppable.’

These are the words I speak to myself every morning — they are part of my morning mantra. And I believe them. Every day I walk like I am in control and I am the sh*t.

So last week, when I attended an invite-only cocktail reception at the British Deputy High Commissioner’s Residence and I felt extremely anxious, small and like I did not belong, I just thought ‘oh must be because I haven’t been for a gathering in the past 9 months’.

Little did I know at the time, I was going through IMPOSTER SYNDROME!

Imposter syndrome is the belief that you are inadequate, incompetent, and a failure even if there is numerous evidence that suggests you are not.

While walking into the Residence, I kept asking myself, ‘why am I here?’, ‘why did I get invited?’, ‘what have I done to impact my community?’, ‘will I fit in with all these tech-preneurs?’, ‘will they like me?’, ‘will they see me as a child?’

Have you ever asked yourself these questions?

Research has found that imposter syndrome stems from the labels our parents attach to us as well as the messages of superiority they instil in us. So yes mum and dad, I blame you ☺ And research also found that imposter syndrome is experienced the most (disproportionately) by high achieving and successful people — so I guess we have made it.

Although having imposter syndrome indicates a level of success, living with imposter syndrome is actually detrimental and it increases your likelihood of burnout, your dissatisfaction with your job, your work performance, how far you push yourself and of course your mental health.

So here are some tips on how to shake off imposter syndrome

1) Acknowledge the syndrome! This is the first step in preventing its harmful consequences

2) Be kind to yourself and take a break when you feel overwhelmed

3) Take note of all your accomplishments and when the feeling of imposter syndrome arises, revisit those notes

4) Seek help; this help does not necessarily have to be speaking to a professional but by simply having a healthy circle of family and friends you can be vulnerable with

5) Keep your eye on the prize, stay focused on the outcome and not necessarily the process

6) Acknowledge the role racism, sexism, classism, ageism and other ‘isms’ play in your experience. Many argue that imposter syndrome is more prominent where there isn’t an environment of diversity.

I was overcome with my feelings of incompetence that I left the event 1 hour later, but upon further reflection, I took the first step; acknowledging the syndrome.

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References

https://hbr.org/2008/05/overcoming-imposter-syndrome

https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321730#risk-factors

https://www.npr.org/2021/01/22/959656202/5-steps-to-shake-the-feeling-that-youre-an-impostor